Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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