i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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