Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
