I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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