I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
