Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Randomize
