then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
i will never coherently bang her
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
