Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
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