Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
