i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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