I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
