i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
