She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
