And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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