pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
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