Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
