i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize