so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize