She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
