I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
