Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
