Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize