Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
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