Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
