i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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