I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
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