The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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