I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
He? As in you personified your dick?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
