she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
