Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
