Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
