Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize