I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
