i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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