just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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