I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Randomize