Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
