I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
