Can i not drive my cunt home
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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