i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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