We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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