Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
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