you lied. pity sex is amazing.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I think a kid would responsible me up
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
