gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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