I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
He shit in the fireplace
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
