I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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