'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
