I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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