So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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