i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
