so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
