My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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