you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
