Can Purell be used as lube?
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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