STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
