Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.