its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
