Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize