I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
