id be glad to
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
