dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Just puked most of my soul out..
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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