so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
